Did this really happen?

I certainly wasn't expecting this day to arrive so soon. Madeline is just three and a half years old. How could she possibly understand? But she does. Insert sigh.

Of all places this could've happened, it happened to take place at church. I volunteer in Madeline's class at church. I do this as a way to help foster trust and help her feel safe in the class before eventually "leaving her there" without me during the service, which will happen at some point in the future. We have been attending class together for about four months now and see a lot of the same kids.

She plays well with the other kids and participates in the singing. For bible story time, though, she sits on my lap on the floor with the other children around us. This one little boy sitting in front of us kept staring at her. Okay, this is not unusual. It happens all the time. However, most of the time, Madeline is oblivious to the stares because she's listening to the bible story. Not this week.

This little boy asked her what happened to her arm. Again, no big deal. Madeline promptly answered, "Dat way I born. Dat way God made me." His staring continued, as did his question. She finally got so fed up with him that she. hid. her. arm. *SNIFF* Oh, how my heart broke into a thousand little pieces for my precious baby girl.

I quickly told the boy, "She doesn't like it when you stare at her arm. It's not okay. Turn around." Thankfully he listened. But the damage was already done.

As if that was NOT enough, a little boy sitting on our right kept getting up to look at her arm and kept asking the same question, "What happened to her arm?" Again, she answered him the best way she knows how, "Dat way I born. Dat way God made me." Nope, that's not enough. He got right up into her personal space to get a real, close look at her arm. Again, she hid her precious, little arm. Okay. Enough already. I respectfully told this boy the same thing I told the other one.

As soon as the boys sat back down, I took Madeline's arm from behind her back and placed it in front of her. I told her it was okay and that she shouldn't hide her arm. I told her that God made her extra special, and she shouldn't be ashamed of that.

There's no doubt she is keenly aware of her limb difference. And up until this point, I thought we had prepared her for answering the same, basic question she always gets. But now it seems it's not enough. We need to help her deal with the "perpetrators" AND her emotions when the stares and questions get to a point that they bother her. Wow. I was not prepared for this to happen at the age of three, let me tell you.

Lord, help us to equip our daughter with all the wisdom, love, and support she'll need to live the life You have planned for her. Help us to prepare her for the stares, the questions, and the eventual ugly and mean comments all because she was born differently. We know in Your eyes, she's just perfect. Help her to trust in this truth. In Jesus' name. Amen.

(By the way, she's sporting one of cousin Leah's princess outfits. Just darling if you ask me.)

Sunday Snapshot: A little bit of Tennessee

It's not much, admittedly.  I have been swamped with lots of happenings here on the homefront.  But I thought I would share a few photos and one hilarious video from our China reunion in Tennessee.

Rebecca wanted to get a photo of the three precious kiddos from Guangzhou so she could email it to the orphanage.  So here is Caleb with two beauties by his side, Analise on the left and Hannah on the right.

Then we asked both girls to give Caleb a kiss. Um, they weren't exactly interested.

Now getting a photo of all the kiddos there (except little Hannah) proved to be a bit of a challenge...not because of the number of kiddos. Nope, it's because the children of the photographer were included in the shot. Yep, my precious dumplings (mostly Madeline) made taking this photo waaaaay harder than it had to be. All the other children cooperated. But Madeline? Oh geez....just typical Madeline.

We had such a fabulous time in Tennesse with our travel group. And I do promise to share more about our trip along with the photos. So hang in there. Promise. Before I sign off, though, I have to share a video I took of Caleb and Madeline splashing around at Little River. They really enjoyed collecting rocks and then skipping throwing them back into the river.



To see more Sunday Snapshots, check out Stefanie's blog.

Seven years ago

It's hard to believe that my mother went to heaven to be with the Lord seven years ago today. Truly. What has happened these past seven years? L.I.F.E. So much of it. My Gramma past away. Patrick and I have been to China twice to bring home our precious children. My sister, too, has adopted two amazing little ones. All of this has happened without the chance to "tell" my mother any of it. Sad? Yes. Has it been the end of me? No. Why not? Because the Lord has been slowly healing me.

Gosh, I remember so clearly in the days after she passed away, people would try to comfort me with their words. One of the comments I kept hearing was that time would heal my wounds. "LIE," I would shout. No way. Even after two years, I still claimed those words to be nothing but a lie.

But God's grace is sufficient for me. Seven years later, I can honestly say that my heart doesn't fall into a pit when I think of the loss of my mother. I know the Lord has healed her from her cancer, and heaven is a far better place than this earth. What more could I want for her? ;)

Now don't get me wrong, I still miss my mom a lot. I miss her big hugs and kisses. I miss her phone calls and letters (ah yes, old-fashioned handwritten letters). But I'm at a place where I can now rejoice in the days God has given me on earth without her instead of wishing for Him to take them back because she couldn't share in them with me.

I thought I would share here what was written in her Celebration of Life program at her memorial service. It describes my mom to a "T".

Susan was born on June 16, 1941 in Manhattan, New York to Edward and Eva Schaefer. In 1956, she moved to Hollywood, FL with her parents and her brothers, Harry and Robert. She attended South Broward High School, where she played the clarinet in the Bulldogs marching band.

She gave birth to her twin daughters, Eva and Debbra, in 1975. While she raised her children, she was actively involved in their extracurricular activities. Whether she was on the soccer field, volleyball court, or the softball diamond, she was always the teams’ biggest cheerleader. And when the girls attended the University of Florida, she became the biggest Gatormom there ever was!

She always enjoyed the time she spent doing craft projects for her family and friends. Birthdays, Christmas, or no reason at all, she always found the time to make something special for someone. She would even make gifts for folks she never met. She made everything with such love and care; you knew it came straight from the heart.

One evening in July 1997, she prayed with her daughter, Debbra, to receive the Lord as her Savior. So we know for certain that she is in a far better place, in the presence of our Lord. Although Susan will be greatly missed, she will never be forgotten. We’ll see you again, Susan. We love you!

We're back!

Yep, I know. With how infrequently I have been posting to the blog, you likely didn't realize we were gone. Ha. But we were. We were on a much needed vacation. Patrick had to return early for work, but the muchkins and I were gone for a whopping ten days.

We first ventured into the mountains of Virginia for some much needed r&r. We headed on over to Hot Springs, where we last visited over nine years ago as a couple. It was a wee bit different heading back with two young children. lol. Still, we had such an amazing time together as a family.

Next we headed south to Pigeon Forge, TN to reconnect with our China travel group for Caleb's adoption. The last time we got together was two years ago in Orlando, FL. At that time, only three of the five families could make it. This time, we were fortunate enough to have Sandi, Jeff, and Hannah join us. Pam, Bob, and Emma unfortunately couldn't make it. Perhaps our next reunion will have all five families back together again. It was as if time never passed when we all reunited. We had a truly fabulous time in the Smokey Mountains.

Unfortunately, I haven't yet uploaded any of the photos I took. So those will have to wait until next time. We have lots to get ready for, as Caleb picks back up with his 2nd grade school year tomorrow. Fortunately for me, I downloaded a bunch of new apps (like 60 for free!) on my iPad for Madeline. So she can do "school" right alongside us. We haven't checked all of them out yet. But I can tell you that some of them are totally awesome. I'm so pumped.

Anyway, I promise to be back some time soon with at least a few photos from our very long and lovely vacation.

Black & White Wednesday: One year later....photos

For Madeline's Gotcha Day Anniversay, we were at a loss as to how we would actually celebrate it.

For Caleb's Gotcha celebrations, we head over to Disney World. Why? Because it's in November....awesome weather and no crowds. Now, Disney in July? Um.....NOT. No way.

So we decided to head to Chuck E. Cheese, since a new one opened up in town recently. Caleb and Madeline had a blast! It was non-stop fun.

The kids collected a bunch of tickets that they traded in for some goodies. Madeline picked out a pack of Smarties and a ring. Caleb also picked out Smarties and a top.

While Chuck E. Cheese was fun for the kids, we have already made our plans for next year. We have decided that we want to rent a bouncy water slide "thing" for the backyard. The kids had a blast going down one at a neighbor's birthday party recently. So we know it will be a big hit next summer.

Well, I snapped these photos before we headed out to Chuck E. Cheese last week. I think Madeline has such a beautiful smile.

And such a silly side, too. I just love it when she goes to open her mouth with her fingers and tries to stick out her tongue. She ends up looking like she's eating her arm. It's hilarious.

For more Black and White Wednesday photos, check out Lisa's blog.

The Miracle of Life

This post has been in my heart and on mind for a long, long time. In fact, I have been not so patiently waiting for the opportunity to write it since last year. Because of the sensitive and unpredictable nature of a private, domestic adoption, I chose not to even discuss it here on the blog. However, the love of our Heavenly Father was poured out upon my sister, Deb, and brother-in-law, Andy recently. And now we all can shout it from the mountaintops.

With joy in their hearts and great thanksgiving to the Lord, Deb and Andy would like to introduce you to their precious, new son, Joshua Lee.

He was born weighing 7 lb. 12 oz. Joshua's birthmom chose Deb and Andy to parent him waaaaaaaaay back in November of last year. For prospective adoptive parents, it was like an eternity to wait that long. Although he has been in their hearts since that time, he has finally arrived and in their arms. They couldn't be happier. Birthmom, forever mom and baby are all doing wonderfully. We are so thrilled for them and their growing family and consider it a privledge to call this little munchkin our nephew.

Congratulations, Deb and Andy, and big sister, Leah!!!!! Welcome to the family, Joshua!!!!!

Bustin' at the seams

...with pride, that is.

Yep. These kiddos of ours have been up to much lately. I'll start with Caleb.

This past Friday, I had his homeschool portfolio reviewed for his annual requirement. A dear, homeschooling friend hooked us up with a very gracious teacher from our church to review Caleb's portfolio. Since this was his first review, I gave her some background.

I shared with her how he was adopted from China at 34 months and how he came to us with speech and language delays. His separation anxiety was the determining factor in beginning to school him two years ago. I decided to begin K with him early, at 4 1/2, and just took it from there. He did quite well.

We continued on with 1st grade this year. And he handled it like a champ. His math skills soared. I had a hard time keeping up with him, as he's working several grade levels ahead. His reading dramatically improved. His sentence writing is amazing (thanks to the classical approach) ; you'd be hard pressed to know he's getting services through the school. In fact, I believe all the hard work during our structured language arts time is going help him "graduate" from services sooner. :) I work with him every day. So I know how he performs. But it was really nice to sit down with an unbiased observer and hear her echo these same sentiments. He's performing above grade level in every area. *insert heart leap* 'Tis music to my ears. Patrick and I are just so so proud of our precious boy.

And for Madeline....well...

As you all know, she's had a busy summer swimming. Whereas Caleb simply needed to incorporate floating into his swimming, Madeline didn't know how to do a thing. Last summer was spent preparing for and adopting this precious munchkin. So when we arrived home last August, we never considered swimming lessons for her; we knew we would wait until this summer to begin them.

Lessons began five weeks ago. The first two weeks were spent crying while learning to float. That's all Carmen could work on with her because she refused to open her eyes under water, a necessity in learning to swim safely. Carmen finally decided to let her use goggles as a crutch simply because she needed to learn the next skills. It worked. She put her head under water and would swim. Here's a video of Madeline finally swimming without her goggles. Yay!



Next up was the task of combining her swimming and floating into her swim-float-swim sequence. As I mentioned earlier, Madeline did this successfully this past week. Depending on the skills Carmen was working on with Madeline, she would give me instructions on what we could and couldn't do in the pool at home. So needless to say, I was thrilled when she asked me to get in the water this past Friday during the lesson in order to learn some hand signals to give Madeline. This meant we could swim and float all we wanted this weekend. And that we did. She swam in the pool these last three days for 1-2 hours each day. *insert jaw drop*

Here's just one little video we got of her jumping in, finding her float, and then swimming to the wall.

She has simply amazed us. It's hard to believe this is the same girl who wouldn't open her eyes, cried during her lessons and had "crocodile fights" with Carmen in the water. No doubt watching another older boy and her brother perform all these skills has served as motivation for her. Now, she certainly can't be left in the water alone at this point. But I feel totally comfortable being away from her in the water. I am not worried about her falling in the water and freaking out or drowning. In fact, "falling in" has become a bit of game. In the meantime, Carmen will be tweaking some things, like a quieter float and better movement into her swim from her float. But I honestly didn't think she would be doing any of these things this summer. My goal for her was to simply learn to float. Boy, did I underestimate her!

Anyway, I guess that's enough bragging for now. Hey, it's my blog. So I can do that, right? Well, I'm trying to edit a few photos still and have some exciting news to share. So stay tuned.